The Joy of the Worst Carioca (Rio de Janeiro native)

While most residents of Rio de Janeiro lament the end of summer, there is a rare species that... celebrates the drop in temperatureThe worst Carioca (Rio de Janeiro native) in the world!
For those who can't stand the Senegalese heat and the tyranny of the beach, the arrival of cold weather is a relief not only in terms of temperature, but also financially.

Below, I record my ode to soups, to stored coats, and, above all, to the temporary retirement of air conditioning.

Get the creams and soups ready!
Get rid of the mothball smell from your clothes!
And I, who don't love beaches or cold draft beer,
I am truly pleased,
because even my 20-minute hot shower… 
They are much cheaper than living in air conditioning!

This short rhyming chronicle summarizes the life philosophy of those who prefer comfort to sweat. After all, in Rio de Janeiro winter, Elegance comes out of the closet and the electricity bill returns to civilized levels.

If you're also part of the resistance that swaps ice-cold draft beer for a hot soup, welcome to the club.

Why is "The Worst Carioca in the World" not just a fictional character?

You might think this hatred of summer is just grumpiness or a pose for the internet, but science explains my preference for... winter. To be the Worst Carioca in the World It's not a choice, it's a physiological necessity for those who inhabit a body that wasn't designed for the tropics.

First, consider the logistics of having two meters and seven centimeters tall. While most people have a normal body surface area exposed to the sun, I basically function as a ray rod for ultraviolet rays and heat. On a crowded bus in Rio de Janeiro, my head is strategically positioned in the area where hot air accumulates, turning any journey along Avenida Brasil into a private sauna. winter, That disadvantage disappears. The coat becomes a social equalizer.

Furthermore, there is the technological issue. As a user of hearing aids (I use a Phonak Naída Paradise P30, to be exact), excessive sweating is a deadly enemy. Rio summer And its absurd relative humidity is a death sentence for sensitive electronics. In the heat, I not only suffer; I risk being silenced if the humidity decides to oxidize the circuits that connect me to the world. Therefore, when I say I love the cold, I'm saying I love the security of listening without fear of short circuits.

The Mathematics of Thermal Economics

Finally, we cannot ignore the financial argument I mentioned in the verses above. Living dependent on air conditioning In Rio de Janeiro, you work half the month just to pay the electricity bill. There's an indescribable freedom in opening the window in July and feeling a breeze that doesn't feel like a dragon's breath.

O winter In Rio, it might seem short, it might be "fake" to people from Rio Grande do Sul and Europeans, but for us, who live in the backwater of the solar oven, it's an oasis. It's the moment when we can wear that suit that's been gathering dust in the closet, eat hot meals without melting, and, most importantly: sleep covered up without waking up broke because of the electricity bill.

If that makes me the Worst Carioca in the World, I accept the title with pride — properly dressed and, preferably, with a good bowl of soup in hand.